Another weekend at The SHOP

Last weekend I underwent an epic 36 hours of working out at The SHOP in Dallas. As you might recall from my previous post about my first SHOP experience, it is not for the faint of heart. The SHOP is run by Drew Skaggs (S.H.O.P. stands for the Skaggs House Of Pain), a member of Rice’s 2003 national championship baseball team. After graduating with degrees in Chemical Engineering and pursuing a career in commercial real estate, Drew finally stopped pursuing a “double life” (working to pay the bills and pursuing his interests in his offtime) and devoted his efforts fulltime to his passions: fitness, nutrition, strength, conditioning. He was already an incredible resource of information about the most cutting edge research in these areas but now that he is living and breathing it fulltime, The SHOP has become a mecca for elite athletes. Drew is more than academic, though; he practices what he preaches and leads by example.

To set the context, I’m in better shape than I was during my first SHOP visit in January. With Drew’s help  I’ve added three pounds of muscle, shed four pounds of fat, taken a minute off of my 5k PR, and taken 80 seconds off of my 10k PR. I was only going to be in Dallas for about 36 hours but Drew promised that we could do plenty of damage in that amount of time. To add to the excitement, we were joined by a mutual acquaintance, a former professional athlete, who is quite a fitness enthusiast himself. He happened to be in Houston so it was easy for him just to drive up to Dallas with me.

We arrived around 8:30 PM Thursday evening, changed clothes and immediately hit The SHOP. As had happened last time, Drew took me way out of my comfort zone with many exercises and movements I had never done – or even heard of – before. We started with Turkish Get-Ups using a dumbbell or kettlebell. I have no idea why the Turks would ever want to get up that way but it was a really intense way to begin a workout! We followed this with heavy dumbbell Farmer’s Walks superset with ab wheel rolls. At this point it was clear to me already how out of shape my forearms were because they were completely exhausted already!

We finished off the workout with anaerobic conditioning. Drew set up three stations: battle ropes, mountain climbers, and the airdyne bike. Each us was at one station performing 20 seconds of maximum intensity exercise. Then we rotated stations and rested for 40 seconds. We completed a full circuit three times and I never thought 9 minutes could last so long! My heart rate peaked in the 190s and finally we were done. Drew made his famous SHOP recovery shakes and then we were off to bed for recuperation.

No rest for the weary, though, as we were up at 5 AM for pre-workout nutrition: omelets with plenty of fresh veggies. Some other SHOP regulars joined us at 6:30 for workout #2. We began with heavy deadlifts. I used a trap bar instead of a straight bar just because I’m less accustomed to it. Next up: single arm dumbbell bench press superset with kettlebell swings. Then we wrapped up with overhead press superset with single leg glute bridges. For post workout nutrition we had second breakfast at Company Cafe, where I had a deep bowl of sweet potatoes, eggs, and grass fed buffalo – Mmmmm!

My business meetings took me most of the day Friday, but I made it back to The SHOP in time for workout #3: Wrestlemania! Drew has been studying Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu so we rolled out the mats and he taught us a few moves. Then we had six two-minute rounds of one-on-one grappling, with one person sitting out to rest each round. The goal was to get the other person to submit without any intentional punching, kicking, or other strikes, just grappling. Just as I remembered from my days wrestling back in school, such an experience is absolutely exhausting. Maybe people with great technique are less exhausted by it but, for me, I basically end up with all muscles flexed all the time.

Because I didn’t really know what I was doing, my approach can best be described as a “turtle” strategy. Each round I found myself pretty quickly with my face in the mat so most of my effort was focused on countering my opponent’s attempts to manipulate me into a submission hold. While I was mostly “successful” with that – in that I managed to fend off such attempts until the end of the very last round, when I found myself in a choke hold – I wasn’t “winning;” I was “not losing.” Next time I’ll need to take more risks to get more offensive practice. Still, it was a lot of fun and a heck of a workout.

Friday evening we grilled up steaks and salmon that Drew had caught in Alaska. Add some spinach with lots of garlic, tomatoes and avocado, Napa cab, and raw milk white russians (in honor of all the Big Lebowski references we had been making) and it was a heck of a meal. Then back to sleep before the final round.

Saturday morning we woke up early again for sprouted grain english muffins with peanut butter then began workout #4. As most of our muscles were pretty decimated by this point, more crazy lifting would have just led to overtraining. Accordingly we focused on mobility first with lots of PNF stretching. We then superset forearm captains of crush with reverse situps on the incline bench. My torso was already so sore from all of the stability work that I wasn’t able to do much on the situps.

We then changed location to a hill near The SHOP. I don’t know exactly how long the hill path was (estimate: 200 meters) or how steep (estimate: 10% grade) but we sprinted up it three times and then recovered with SHOP shakes. As we returned to The SHOP it had been almost exactly 36 hours since we had arrived and we had completed four killer workouts.

Looking back, two insights stand out to me:

1. We really didn’t do that much. The volume of our work was pretty significant for a 36-hour stretch, but nothing exceptional for four separate workouts. However, the quality of what we did was through the roof: difficult exercises conducted with 100% focus and maximum intensity. This corresponds with my desire to work out smarter, not longer, and it’s an aspect of The SHOP that I love: a commitment to results, not simply to tiring you out.

2. Most of what we did was new/different (to me, at least). No matter how optimally you train, there is always benefit to mixing it up and shocking your body out of its adaptation. This is another aspect I love about The SHOP: because Drew is so committed to staying abreast of – and even innovating beyond – the cutting edge of fitness research, I can always count on it for a shock.

I’m back in Houston now and I still hurt. My neck especially (the muscles, not the spine) is reeling from the wrestling. There was a time when I had a 19″ neck that would have been ready for it. While my narrower current neck is certainly more practical for finding bow ties that fit, I could have used the extra bulk during Wrestlemania! I am thoroughly convinced that it is no coincidence that “SHOP” has the same number of letters as “EPIC” because that’s the only way to describe the 36 hours and 4 workouts we undertook. Now I’m pumped and ready for more – but maybe after a little R&R . . .

Winning

Last week was a great week that brought many accomplishments both professionally and personally. First off, I am pleased to announce that Smart Office Energy Solutions closed its second round of funding! While our first round comprised mostly smaller investors with whom I already had a personal relationship, this second, larger round was made up of more professional investors – both as individuals and as companies. Once again it is an honor to have had such faith placed on our shoulders and once again we will do everything within our power to ensure an overwhelmingly positive outcome.

And now, with this round closed, we’ve wasted no time in launching fundraising efforts for our next, much larger round. I pitched to two VCs last week and have already had very positive feedback/interest from one. As I have expressed before, fundraising is new for me and it is easy to become frustrated with the time and attention it takes. However, each of these small successes re-energizes me and keeps us moving forward.

Another piece of good news came in last week when we were selected as semi-finalists for the Cleantech Open, a prestigious nation-wide contest between cleantech startups. It is an honor to have been selected among such talented companies and we will work hard in the next round to live up to the “hype.”

Finally, business meetings took me to Dallas toward the end of the week so I used the opportunity to squeeze in some time at The SHOP while I was there. I will detail that experience in a subsequent post but suffice to say that the incredibly intense workouts were exactly what I was seeking.

It was a great week so now I’m working on making this one even better!

Atlas Shrugged

At long last, after several months, I have finished reading Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand. While reading The Fountainhead back in high school, I fell in love with Rand’s school of philosophical thought, Objectivism. I always meant to follow up by reading Atlas Shrugged but between college, startups, and the myriad other distractions in my life I just never quite made time for the 1,000+ page novel. Finally, at long last, I have accomplished this task and it was interesting to read it 14 years after I read The Fountainhead – my perspective has changed a lot since then!

The Good

Rand’s advocacy of free market capitalism certainly resonates very strongly with me. I’m not anti-government but I do believe that the government has a pretty focused role to play in the maintenance and advancement of society. Capitalism is an efficient system for fostering innovation, advancing ideas that are worthwhile and discarding those that aren’t. The capital and where it flows provides an intrinsic metric of success, incenting businesses to evolve, streamline, and innovate.

When the government gets too involved not only does it lead to wonky results due to decision-making by people with little business experience, it also mucks up the entire capitalist system, blurring the incentives and obfuscating the metrics of success – further compounding the wonky results (I have blogged before about such wonky results.). I’m glad to have read this book now, after 11 years as an entrepreneur and business executive, as the government meddling in business affairs (e.g. the Anti-Dog-Eat-Dog Rule and Directive 10-289) evoked much more significant responses in me than they would have back when I was a student!

That said, in this book Rand argues for an extremely laissez-faire, almost anarchist, form of capitalism, which I do not support. The government does have a role to play in business and that is to set the rules of the system in which the market operates. These rules include fair laws and equitable taxes with frequent review and update. After that, businesses should be left free to optimize their operations around those rules.

I also bought into Rand’s theme of Sanction of the Victim, the willingness of the successful to suffer at the hands of the “evil” (In this novel, “evil” is done by mooches and looters who have no capacity to achieve in and of their own right.), feeling guilty for the “sin” of their achievement. This corresponds with Transactional Analysis, specifically with the playing of games. It is easy to blame the “evil” person/company/country/organization but it takes two or more actors to play a game and they all are equally complicit in the result.

Rand’s “rational egoism” or “ethical selfishness” still resonates with me in many ways but not nearly as much as it did in high school. If “self” is extended to represent collective units such as “family” or “company,” I think this position is a good operating principle. However it must not be followed myopically and it must not be considered absolute. Part of what makes us human is that we have the capacity for love and human empathy, not just for maximizing self interest 24/7/365.

The Bad

Rand’s philosophy really falls apart, though, on her premise that rationality is every human  being’s highest virtue. Here I disagree completely. Human beings are inherently irrational creatures although we spend an enormous amount of time and energy rationalizing irrational decisions we have already made – consciously or subconsciously. Several times in the novel characters are derided for sharing their feelings or instincts. This is flat-out wrong. We can either ignore / suppress our emotions or we can embrace them, even capitalize on them.

Again, our capacity to feel is a critical element of the human experience and, without it, life is less rich, less meaningful. This shows in Rand’s characters who never seem to know joy. She writes that they are joyful when they achieve something great but it isn’t very convincing. The moments of greatest joy in my life have been almost entirely irrational and they have involved people, not achievements. By condemning irrationality, Rand really misses the boat.

The Ugly

Because of the dogged focus on rationality, the characters in Atlas Shrugged simply aren’t believable. Or, even if one believes that humans like them might exist, it is hard to identify with them. There is some dialogue, of course, but the book feels like one preachy monologue after another. Because of this inability to write “human” characters and because of her insistent commitment to rationality, I wonder what Ayn Rand was like – and I suspect that she repressed a significant amount of her own feelings.

More practically, Atlas Shrugged is too long. The story could have been told in 1/3 the pages and without sacrificing any character development (since, as described above, the characters weren’t really developed). A prime example is Galt’s radio address, which really is the expression of Rand’s philosophy packaged up into one monologue – and what a monologue! After three hours of reading, of Galt repeating himself over and over again, of rhetorical questions and allegories, I finally finished his address. There was a lot of great stuff in there but it was way too long – if it had been a real radio address, he would have bored his audience to tears and no one would have followed. In Atlas Shrugged, however, people around the country are inspired by this message – once again exhibiting Rand’s inability to grasp how humans really work.

Conclusion


I’m really glad to have read the book and I would recommend it for others as well. My reaction is very mixed: the businessman in me loves it while the human in me rolls his eyes at it. The fact that it evokes such strong and mixed reactions is a good thing and I’m sure I will have many lively conversations about the book. I just wish that Rand would have understood the latter reaction and found a way to reconcile her philosophy with it.

Houston Heights 5k 2011 Race Report

Saturday I set a new 5k PR at the Houston Heights 5k race. As we are now in the time of year when Houston is murderously hot and humid, I had intended to be done with races until late Fall. However, our Norwegian intern, Anders, who is a much more accomplished runner than I am, pointed out that this would be our last chance to run in the same race before he headed back home – how could I pass up such an opportunity?

My previous 5k PR for a certified course was 20:58, set back in February. In theory I should have been in better shape now, but it would also be much hotter/more humid now so I didn’t know exactly what kind of performance to expect. With race-time temperatures expected in the 80s, online calculators were predicting that I would run up to a minute slower than my cool weather potential. Plus, now I’m a married man and I’m sure that sets me back a few minutes too! 😛

I disregarded the weather for my race plan, though, and set a strategy to set a new PR. The course would be very straight and flat so there was no need to worry about adjusting for turns or hills. As usual my intention was to start and finish very strong with a fast, consistent pace in between:

KM 1: 4:04 (Big burst at the start then settling into my pace after 200m)
KM 2: 4:17
KM 3: 4:17
KM 4: 4:17
KM 5: 4:00 (4:17 pace for 650m, cover the next 260m in 60s – 3:51 pace, and sprint the final 90m in 15s – 2:47 pace)
Race goal: 20:55

The morning of the race was definitely pretty sticky. I didn’t allow as much time between my big breakfast and the race as I usually do, so my GI was grumbling a bit as I warmed up. My stomach settled down right before the start, though, so all was well. I found Anders, we wished each other luck, and then we were off.

The first km went very well. Heights Blvd is a wide, straight street and there was plenty of room for runners to spread out after the starting line. I had a good start (~3:30 pace) and then eased back, finishing this km in 3:58 with an average heart rate of 166. Heading into the next km I was 6 seconds ahead of my goal and my heart rate was 174 – right on target.

The second km was consistent and felt strong. I finished it in 4:13 with an average heart rate of . . . 174 – my heart rate had stayed steady as well. I was now 10 seconds ahead of my goal and feeling very good.

The third km worried me a bit as it included a 180-degree turn (as we turned around and headed right back up Heights Blvd). I finished it in 4:12 but my heart rate had now begun to climb, averaging 178 throughout the km. 60% through the race I was 15s ahead of my goal with a 180 heart rate and straight, flat road ahead.

The 4th km was once again consistent (My heart rate stayed at 180.) but I struggled to stick to my pace, finishing in 4:18. A woman in green who had been just ahead of me (and who had a coach biking alongside her) began to extend her lead. Still, I was 14s ahead of my goal so I would set a new PR barring any disastrous meltdown.

The next 650m were again a struggle and I completed them at 4:20 pace. My average heart rate for that leg was 183 and my current heart rate was 185. Still, I was 12s ahead of my goal as I kicked it up for my penultimate push.

My pace was good during this push, 3:44, but something unexpected happened before I completed the 260m. Anders, who of course had finished several minutes prior, had come back along the course and was encouraging me on. I was 13s ahead of my goal, my heart rate was now 189 and, with 120m left, I began my final sprint.

I could see the woman in green way up ahead of me and, urged on by Anders, I committed to beating her. I passed several guys along the way but, for whatever reason, she was my focus – my nemesis! I blew by her maybe 5m before the finish line and it felt great! I had completed the final 120m in 23s (2:55 pace) for a final time of 20:44.9, 10s below my goal and a new PR by 13s! Perhaps most interestingly, my heart rate soared to 197 – the highest I have ever recorded – during the sprint.

I cooled down, found Anders, and together we jogged back along the course to find Katie and run her in. By this point it was getting very muggy and we were incredibly thankful for all the tree shade along Heights Blvd. Some others from our office had come out to support us so we all met up – but we runners kept our sweaty distance!

Anders finished 2nd overall with a 16:06 time – very impressive. My 20:45 was 69th of 1,022 runners (93rd percentile), 60th of 495 male runners (88th percentile), and 8th of 71 males 30-34 (89th percentile). It was a good race with decent competition, plenty of room, a nice course, and effective organization – I’ll hope to run it again next year.

Also, to make this run more meaningful, I ran it in honor of GIVEWATTS. Some family members sponsored me and I managed to collect enough donations for three watts of clean renewable power to be installed at a school in East Africa. Over 10 years those three watts will create approximately $2,250 of value there, so this aspect of the race was much more impactful than my PR!

Wedding Part 6 – Final Reflections

A great deal happened on and around our wedding day. William and Kate were married a week before. Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver split up. Our dear friends gave birth to their first child. Animal Kingdom, a horse with ties to Hot Springs, Arkansas, won the Kentucky Derby. Rice baseball swept UH to continue its annual tradition of winning the Silver Glove. For us, though, all the magic in the world was at Castello di Montalto with us and our friends and family.

At the end of the day, the location was amazing and it certainly added the “fairytale” dimension to our wedding celebration. However, I think if we had gathered that group of people together anywhere in the world it would have been just as special. It really wasn’t the castle or lush green hills or the incredible food and wine that made our wedding so special; it was the people. We are truly, truly blessed to have the people in our lives that we do and not a day goes by that we are not thankful for them.

It seems too that we are not the only ones to benefit from the great people with whom we celebrated in Italy. Since returning to the world of Internet connectivity it has been a joy to see all the facebook notifications of them connecting with each other. As we catch up with each of them it is also a thrill to hear of many of their adventures and stories from the week that were totally unrelated to us or our wedding. These stories bring broad smiles to our faces.

Now we’re back at home and we’re both still just beaming. My cheeks still hurt; not just from all the picture taking but from all the smiling and laughing. As I wrote at the beginning of my wedding blogging, it was the greatest week – and May 7th the greatest DAY – of my life thus far. But, as I look over at Katie sleeping in the seat next to me, I know that the best is yet to come! Thanks to everyone for the good wishes as we begin our next chapter together!

Wedding Part 5 – The Aftermath

Sunday morning we woke up for the first time as husband and wife. Practically speaking, nothing had changed. Emotionally speaking, everything was different. We had taken a big step and everything just seemed to shine. At breakfast the honey was a litte sweeter, the smiles a little broader, and the laughter a little louder – life a little better.

Sunday morning we went to Siena and walked around a bit. I’ve always preferred the “Renaissance” of Florence to the “Medieval” of Siena, but, as we were at the cusp of tourist season, it was nice being in a place that was a little less mobbed. In line with Katie’s and my travel philosophy, we spent most of our time in Siena eating!

Lunch was at a restaurant called Antica Osteria da Divo, a little place near the Duomo built into Etruscan caves. They set up tables for our group in one of the caves and we dined all afternoon. After that we moved onto San Gimignano for towers, gelato, and vino. We capped it all off with home cooking back at the Castello – what more can you really want in a day?

Monday we went wine tasting again – this time in the Chianti Classico region. First we traveled north to Greve, where we tasted at Villa Calcinaia, owned by the Capponi family, including my former professor. The other brother, Sebastiano, runs the wine business and honored us with some storytelling while we tasted his organic olive oil, sangiovese, Chianti Classico, and Chianti Classico Riserva.

We arrived at Calcinaia more than one hour late (Consistency!) but tarried there even longer than anticipated because everyone wanted to buy their wine afterward. As a consequence, we didn’t reach our next appointment, Castello di Brolio, until three hours after our appointment time. We were scheduled to have lunch there followed by a tour and wine tasting. However, by the time we arrived, their osteria was already closed. They were kind enough to provide lots of food with our wine tasting – which was fortunate since we were starving by then!

The tour of the castle, where Chianti was “invented” was interesting and further fueled my desire to have a castle someday. The tasting reinforced my opinion that the Chiantis of Barone Ricasoli are really outstanding and can go head-to-head even with some Brunelli. Another night of dining “in” at the castello was a great finish to the day.

Tuesday was our last full day at the Castello so Katie and I decided just to hang out. Once again the weather was gorgeous so we walked the grounds a bit, spent time with those who were leaving, and had a long lunch with plenty of wine – which was, of course, followed by a similarly long nap!

Tuesday night we went into town for dinner in Castelnuovo Berardenga. We found a very nice little enoteca/trattoria where we dined on local specialties for hours. To accompany the typical Tuscan fare, we drank 2006  Dievole Chianti Classico Riserva Novecento, which was fantastic – one of the best wines we drank the entire trip, which is saying something!

Wednesday came and at last it was time to depart. It had been an incredible stay at Castello di Montalto and we would strongly recommend it to anyone looking for home base in Tuscany – tell them we sent you! On our way down to Rome we stopped in Orvieto for lunch. Orvieto was really charming and next time we are around it will merit more time than we gave it on this brief stop.

We spent Wednesday night in Rome, which was like an entirely different world. Driving in traffic was stressful, menus were in English, and the fantastic surreality was gone. Still, Katie and I were grinning from ear to ear recounting the amazing week we had had.

Wedding Part 4 – The Big Day

Saturday morning Katie and I arose; the sun was shining, birds were chirping, and excitement was in the air. After breakfast many of us set about making final preparations. Many of the women decorated the granaio, which would be the scene of dinner and dancing, while others picked local wild flowers from the countryside. We used empty wine bottles from the previous 48 hours (And there were many!) to hold flowers as table decorations. Some of the other men and I set up chairs, tables, and the sound system.

Many people had their own excellent ideas for little touches that we would never have thought of, such as tying a ribbon (tied by Lee, who has been tying beautiful ribbons around my presents since I was 10) around the linden tree under which we would be married. This was exactly what we had in mind as it eliminated our stress and made the entire event a shared experience. I kept trying to find things about which to stress or worry but I really couldn’t – everything was just . . . perfect.

Finally it was time to get ready for the ceremony. The common themes in Katie’s and my outfits were “vintage,” “castle,” and “meaningful.” Several months ago I found a midnight blue dinner jacket from the 40’s and, with a little tailoring, it fit me very well. The formal shirt I wore under it was handmade with a bib design known as “Swiss pleats,” a nod to the place where Katie and I were engaged. My studs were given to me by my mother, a set of four handmade silver dragons; they paired very well with my cuff links, also handmade silver dragons! Apparently the special ladies in my life know how strongly I believe that castles should have dragons! Instead of dress shoes I wore a pair of black ostrich boots given to me by Sam, my mentor in all things Texas. In my front breast pocket I had a white linen pocket square with a hand monogrammed “KJBGH” (Katie’s initials joined with mine). Finally, I of course wore my Rice ring.

Adorned as such, I was ready – or I thought I was. Still nothing could prepare me for seeing Katie in her wedding outfit! We had planned a small, intimate ceremony with no “aisle” down which to walk so I showed up early, milled about, took pictures, etc. while we waited for the bride and her sister to show. When they did, WOW, what a sight to behold! Katie was wearing a long, flowing ivory dress (new) with a low back and plunging neckline. Her crystal earrings and aquamarine (blue) ring were gifts from my mother. An art deco bracelet (borrowed) graced her wrist while strappy silver/gold wedges clad her feet (Castles are not great places for stiletto heels!). She also had a special sixpence piece in her shoe to bring a little tradition to our most nontraditional wedding.

Most meaningful to me, though, were the vintage 30’s crown tiara and 40’s crystal rhinestone necklace (old). They were both wedding gifts from me and I was pleased to see how perfectly they adorned her head and her heart, her two most important parts! While I tried to remain poised, all I could think was, “OMGOMGOMGOMG I’m going to marry her!!!!” She was truly the vision of a “princess bride,” the references to which continued throughout the entire day.

On a related note, I gave Katie a second vintage tiara as well because I didn’t know much about her dress, how she would wear her hair, etc. and I wanted her to have options. The other tiara turned out to be a perfect match for Kelly’s dress and so I was thrilled almost to tears to see my sister-to-be also wearing something from me. “Keep it together, Hassin; the ceremony hasn’t even started yet!”

Once we were all together under the linden tree, in a courtyard between the castle’s two major towers, it was time to get the show on the road. At this point it was no longer about the wedding-to-come but the wedding-in-the-here-and-now. Much of my IMD subconscious-oriented training was directed at experiencing the “here and now” so, surreal as the experience was becoming, I resolved to savor it. Every word that was spoken, every movement of someone’s hand, even every breeze on my neck . . . I soaked up every ounce of it!

We were honored to have Sam as our “Captain of Ceremonies.” As this was a secular ceremony and as we had already been civilly wed, our qualifications for this role were for someone meaningful (Sam had been like a father to me and in recent years he came to know Katie as well.), checklist-oriented (Sam is a career pilot – check!), and well spoken (Double check, especially since Sam’s oratory skills come with the incredible “bonus” of Lee’s co-authorship!) – Sam was a shoe-in, and we were just so glad that he undertook it even with many, many, many other important things going on in both his and Lee’s lives right now.

The specific details of what was said and undertaken during the wedding ceremony belongs to the “here and now” of “there and then” so will not be included in this blog post. Suffice it to say, though, that our parents and siblings played major roles (Even Katie’s brother/sister-in-law and their family, who were unable to attend in person, joined us via Skype!), our IMD friends/spouses contributed international perspectives on marriage, and we publicly committed ourselves to each other before the people we hold most dear.

Speaking our vows to each other was the most surreal, positive moment of my life to date. It felt like something out of a movie, when the rest of the scene fades out and all that is left is sunlight and music and love. For months, ever since I began writing my vows, this was exactly how I had envisioned it, even down to the bridal wreath petals blowing in the breeze and landing softly in our hair and on our shoulders. I had practiced my vows in the shower, in the car, and in the mirror, but this time I spoke them into the beautiful blue eyes of my life partner. Incomparable, amazing, perfect.

Once we finished bawling, being pronounced husband and wife, and kissing (Finally!), we kicked off post-ceremony festivities by sabering the first bottle of La Marca Conegliano Prosecco di Valdobbiadene. Instead of using a sword, though (tough to carry on a plane!), we used the best we could find in the castle’s kitchen: a huge meat cleaver!!! We sabered that bottle without cutting anyone, took a billion pictures, and began partying.

There in the courtyard we played mostly classical music, including pieces by Beethoven, Bach, Schumann, and even Mark Knopfler and John Williams. We also made the first of what would eventually be many, many, many toasts. We toasted those who were there with us, those who couldn’t make it, and those who were no longer with us, all of whom were celebrating with us whether in person or in spirit.

Once every possible of combination of bride, groom, and guests had been photographed under the linden tree, we processed to the granaio to begin a very, very long wedding lunch/dinner. With such a small gathering we were able to seat everyone at the same long table, with Katie and me and immediate family at the center. For antipasti we had three kinds of bruschetta: muscroom, tomato, and spinach aioli. With this we also opened the next wine, La Cala Vermentino di Sardegna, a fabulous little white wine very near and dear to Katie’s and my hearts.

I had intended to use the meal as an opportunity to toast everyone there at least once (I love making toasts at the weddings of other people so I was going to make as many as possible at my own!) and, using the Swiss cowbell we received as a gift, we started a protocol of ringing the cowbell to garner attention for a toast. Very shortly after my first few toasts, though, the cowbell made its way down to both ends of the table and we were surprised, HONored, flattered, thrilled, excited, grateful, blessed, and many, many other joyous words as our guests outdid me in both toast quantity and quality. Toasts ranged from hilarious to tear-jerking, from rehearsed to improvised, from advisory to congratulatory – but they were all incredibly heartfelt. I thought that our crying had finished with the ceremony but many of the toasts started the water works right back up again.

For our primo piatto we had risotto with asparagus and fagioli, which was followed by our secondo, herb-roasted pork and roasted potatoes. With this main course we served the ’99 Castello Banfi Brunello di Montalcino Riserva Poggio all’Oro. If I hadn’t already been in a “savor” mindset, this would have put me there immediately. Oh wow, what a wine! Classic sangiovese with crushed cherries and tobacco, beautifully integrated, and a round finish that went on and on and on and on. Mmmmmmm!

Dessert was panna cotta with fresh local berries, served alongside 2000 Chateau Guiraud Sauternes, which we discovered during our 2008 Bordeaux trip. It was an excellent pairing.

As we progressed through the meal, some of the toasts turned creative, including a Godfather reenactment, calling of the Hogs, singing of a traditional Sicilian wedding song (including audience participation!), and an a capella rendition of Can’t Help Falling in Love by Katie’s aunt, mother, and sister. Not only was that moving in and of its own right, but Katie’s brilliant suggestion that we get up and dance to it made for a “first dance” much more spontaneous and memorable than anything we could have planned. Once again: perfect.

As the sun set we moved from dining to dancing. Katie and I had put together a small selection of good dance songs – both fast and slow – from the 50’s through today and played them off my laptop through some big speakers. We started with the older stuff to be a little more accessible to our guests who would probably retire earlier and then made our way into more contemporary dance fare. It’s tough to have something for everyone and I worried at times that our music was too “American” for our European guests, too loud for our older guests, etc. Utimately, though, Katie seemed to be having a blast, which was what really mattered. We hit on a lot of our favorites, including raucous singalongs to Friends In Low Places and Bohemian Rhapsody. In hommage to Top Gun the men even serenaded Katie with You’ve Lost That Loving Feeling. Good times!

After 11 or so hours of lunch/dinner and dancing, we finally wound down, cleaned up a bit, and called it a night. For Katie and me, it had been the absolutely perfect day. There was no stress, only unabounding joy, amplified a thousand fold by our loved ones who shared in the celebration with us. Words, poetry, music – nothing can express how incredible our wedding was for us. It was everything we had hoped it would be – and more, through the contributions of those who shared it with us. It was perfect. May 7, 2011: Best. Day. EVER!

Wedding Part 3 – Our Last Day as Singles

Friday many of our guests went out exploring on their own. Some went to Florence, some to Lake Trasimeno, some to Cortona, and some just drove around. Katie and I stayed at the castle to enjoy the estate a bit and make any final preparations for the big day.

Castello di Montalto is on 700 hectares (~1600 acres) of contiguous land so we spent a lot of time just walking around the fields and forests, where we saw horses, deer, pheasants, wild boar, porcupines, and innumerable birds, lizards, bugs, and the like. Some of us went for runs some mornings along the gravel road which, despite the rocks, was fine in my Vibrams.

Friday afternoon was devoted to sport. My “groomsmen” (We didn’t actually have a wedding party but, if we had, these were certainly guys who would have been part of it!) and I played grass volleyball, tennis, and football – a perfect way to spend my waning hours as a bachelor!

Friday evening, once nearly everyone, including my Italian cousins, had arrived, we held an outdoor BBQ to foster more “connectivity” between and among our various “constituencies.” This dinner might usually be termed a “rehearsal dinner,” but that was not the case for us – as there was no rehearsal! Katie and I really wanted the festivities to play out organically with minimal planning/controlling/stressing and that is exactly what happened – mission accomplished!

Toward the end of dinner, a good friend of the family, David, took over and delivered a scathing, hilarious roast. David has known me since I was 1 so he had accumulated plenty of roast material! Throughout dinner, though, he and some accomplices had also enticed people to write down wishes for Katie and me on little slips of paper. As he finished his roast, all the wishes were loaded onto little flying lanterns that were lit and then set free to carry the wishes up to the heavens. The effect was magical: an ascending “staircase” of balls of light in the night sky. As they floated upward some people called out the wishes they had made for us – some common themes were laughter and adventure, wishes that I am certain will come true! Some other wishes, such as fielding an entire football team with our children, well . . . we’ll just have to see about that! Finally, by late Friday night, all 43 of us had arrived, ready for the big day.

Wedding Part 2 – Brunello di Montalcino

Thursday’s focus was on my favorite aspect of Tuscany: the WINE! After breakfast together (featuring exclusively food grown/prepared there at the castle or baked/prepared in the nearby village), we lined up an eight-car caravan to travel to the wine region of Brunello di Montalcino. The Garmin GPS that came with our rental car led us the wrong way down one-way streets a couple of times so we abandoned it in favor of Google Maps on my phone, which was much more effective–until we neared our destination! Then Google tried to send us to basically the right location but just a little ways up the hill, which wasn’t very useful! So then we went back to the Garmin GPS, which didn’t fail us this time. Finally, more than an hour late (which would be a theme in our wine tasting all week!), we arrived at Fattoria dei Barbi.

For wine tasting in and around Montalcino, I am used to being just 2-4 people, which, it turns out, is very different than being a group of 30! Many of the smaller Brunello houses simply aren’t equipped to handle larger groups, rendering them ineligible for visits. Similarly, many of them don’t have anyone on hand who speaks English, which is fine for a small group in which I can act as translator, but which is impractical for a larger tour. This means that our choices of wineries to visit were somewhat limited.

Also, there is generally no fee to tour/taste at wineries in Italy, but, for large groups, they do charge a per person tasting fee. Finally, leading a long caravan of cars (for many of whom it is their first time driving in Italy, Europe, or even outside the US) is simply a pretty slow affair. This – combined with our ongoing navigation antics – had me very ready for some wine by the time we arrived!

Barbi was very gracious, though, and still gave us an abbreviated tour (skipping over some of the finer vinification points) followed by a very unabbreviated tasting. At the tasting we sample their three Brunelli: 2006 Brunello di Montalcino, 2005 Brunello di Montalcino Vigna di Fiore (single vineyard), and 2004 Brunello di Montalcino Riserva. The first was a pretty basic Brunello; the second offered a little more flavor depth, and the riserva had a bit more tannic structure – all very good to taste and good to whet our appetites.

Lunch took place at Boccon di Vino, where I had eaten before with both Katie and Cox on separate occasions. There we were treated to delicious pasta dishes, a fantastic selection of Brunello wines (We had Silvio Nardi, Argiano, and Valdicava), and possibly the best panoramic view outside of San Gimignano in all of Tuscany. Usually we follow up lunch at Boccon di Vino with a nap in the parking lot but, given how far behind we were, we simply couldn’t afford it this time. Fortunately the chocolate mousse we were served for dessert had plenty of coffee bean in it, so that helped.

Our afternoon tasting was at Castello Banfi. American-owned and the largest (by far) producer of Brunello di Montalcino, Banfi is about as commercial and “un-charming-Italian” as it comes, but their wine is just so damn good that I can’t help but love them. We tasted their 2009 Rosso di Montalcino, 2006 Brunello di Montalcino, and 2005 Brunello di Montalcino Poggio alle Mura (single vineyard), which went from good to very good to very very good but still too young. We did not taste their riserva Brunello (Poggio all’Oro) because the ’99 vintage of that wine would be served Saturday night at the wedding dinner. As we milled about, Banfi offered us another tasting of their sweet white Muscadello and, as I picked up the case of ’99 Poggio all’Oro (their very last 12 bottles of it – good thing I reserved them a few months ago!) they threw in a magnum of Rosa Regale, their sparkling red wine, as a congratulatory gift.

Spoils in hand we returned in the evening to the Castello. After a late, heavy lunch and lots of wine consumption, several guests called it an early night. Some stayed around the castle to continue wine tasting. We went out to dinner at Il Corte di Bacco with some of our guests who just arrived Thursday afternoon. By the time we finally made it back to our villa, we crashed hard! Driving around a beautiful place tasting incredible wines with wonderful people – what a perfect way to kick off our wedding festivities!

Wedding Part 1 – Arrival

The best week of my life – including the best day of my life – has just ended. I have had some really tremendous previous best weeks and days of my life, but this wedding really blew them all away. Everything was just so . . . so . . . perfect.

Katie and I departed for Italy Tuesday, May 3, arriving Wednesday morning. I had contacted Continental customer service months ago to see if they would do anything special for a couple on its way to be married, hoping to surprise Katie with a shout-out or something similar. The generic “no” response I received was disappointing but wasn’t a big deal. However, when the flight attendant saw Katie’s hanging bag, she guessed at our impending nuptials and did make an announcement, which was a surprise and a lot of fun. She even called us Mr. and Mrs. Barrett, which may be closer to the mark than she intended! As always, Continental’s good people came through, even when their systems and processes didn’t.

We arrived in Rome, picked up Chris, Kelly, and Mike (Katie’s father, sister, and sister’s boyfriend – I usually try to anonymize other people in my blog entries but it just won’t be possible in the ones about the wedding!), and set off for Castello di Montalto. Instead of heading straight to Castelnuovo Berardenga, though, we detoured through Montepulciano for some sightseeing and a late lunch. The weather was overcast but it already felt great to be re-immersed in the rolling green hills of bella Toscana!

Katie – now my co-author-for-life – insists that I elaborate a bit more on the food. At lunch many of us had pici, the local handmade pasta (kind of like very fat spaghetti noodles) in various forms (mine with extra garlic naturally). To cleanse our palettes afterward, we walked back to our car with some fig and ricotta gelato that was out of this world!

When we arrived at the Castello late Wednesday afternoon, some of our guests had already checked in and the weather was already clearing up. For the rest of our stay, the weather remained perfect for castle life: sunny with highs in the low 20s C (low 70s F) and lows around 10 C (~50 F). We were greeted upon arrival by the Count and Countess (who reside in the main building of the castle) and by Leo, their noble German Shepherd, who demanded tummy rubs as hommage.

One of the villas in the hamlet – the one with a large balcony and a gorgeous view, naturally – quickly emerged as the “party suite.” Most of our guests arrived Wednesday evening so we picked up 30 pizzas from a local pizzeria and served them up (along with plenty of vino!) in the party suite. This was a fantastic event as people from our various worlds began connecting. Family met coworkers, coworkers met friends, friends of one side met friends of the other side, etc. We only had ~40 guests all-in-all but all of the chapters of both of our lives were represented. We made merry until pretty late and then called it a night to deal with jet lag.

The energy brought by all of our guests was palpable and Katie and I knew that this was the beginning of a very special experience!