James Bond Henchmen

Often James Bond movies have more compelling henchmen than the villains themselves – and then sometimes the henchman are totally lame. Following is my ranking:

1. Oddjob (Goldfinger): incredibly strong and with a razor-sharp projectile hat!
2. Jaws (Moonraker, The Spy Who Loved Me): incredibly strong and with razor-sharp metal teeth!
3. Xenia Onatopp (Goldeneye): Former model who uses sex as a weapon? Yes please!
4. Messieurs Kidd and Wint (Diamonds Are Forever): Most people hate these guys but I find their attempts to be sinister to be hilariously entertaining.
5. Tee Hee (Live And Let Die): incredibly strong and with a metal claw for a hand!
6. May Day (A View To A Kill): Grace Jones – enough said.
7. Irma Bunt (On Her Majesty’s Secret Service): the inspiration for Frau Farbissina of Austin Powers infamy.
8. Rosa Klebb (From Russia With Love): a little old lady is much scarier with a poison dagger in her shoe!
9. Nick Nack (The Man With The Golden Gun): funny little man who proves deadly behind the controls of Scaramanga’s Fun House.
10. Fatima Blush (Never Say Never Again): a henchwoman so attractive that you really don’t want to see her eliminated!
11. Necros (The Living Daylights): we have now crossed the line from compelling henchmen to forgettable ones.
12. Renard (The World Is Not Enough): Elektra King’s lover who can’t feel pain – yawn.
13. Miranda Frost (Die Another Day): MI6 double agent and accomplished fencer.
14. Mischka & Grischka (Octopussy): knife-throwing circus twins? We have now crossed the line from the forgettable henchmen to the downright lame.
15. Hans (You Only Live Twice): a tall, strong blonde guy with nothing special about him.
16. Erich Kriegler (For Your Eyes Only): a tall, strong blonde guy – at least this one is a competitive biathlete.
17. Vargas (Thunderball): a tall, strong blonde guy with nothing special about him.
18. Mr. Stamper (Tomorrow Never Dies): a tall, strong blonde guy with nothing special about him.
19. Milton Krest (License To Kill): his sharks are more interesting than he is.
20. Elvis (Quantum of Solace): as if the main villain in this film weren’t weird looking enough, this Quentin Tarantino look-a-like henchman takes it to another level!
21. Alex Dimitrios (Casino Royale): who?
22. Professor Dent (Dr. No): remember him? I didn’t think so.
23. Skyfall didn’t really have any henchmen – lame!

Published by Bryan Guido Hassin

These are the musings of a global cleantech entrepreneur. This blog began as a way to document my experience during the IMD MBA in Switzerland and now is the place where I publish eclectic thoughts on business, politics, fitness, entertainment, travel, wine, sports, and . . . whatever else is top of mind.

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